Are you a worrywart?
Do you fill up with worry quickly when life feels out of control?
I know I must watch myself, or I can easily find myself consumed with worry-filled thoughts. It is so easy to do. I also discovered that worrying could lead me to handle my problems in unhealthy ways. When I worry, I notice that I tend to control others or circumstances to get the outcomes I want. By the way, worry never works. It leads me to worry more, and I find no peace.
Since coming to Celebrate Recovery and working on the twelve steps and eight principles, I discovered how to give God my worries and trust Him more with my concerns and problems. As I put this into practice, I have found that I have more peace and serenity in my life. Here’s the problem, it is hard to give up all my troubling thoughts! But when my desire for peace is more significant than my desire to live with my anxious thoughts, I find the strength to press on one day at a time, giving them over to God.
I was particularly challenged with worry ten-plus years ago when we discovered our youngest daughter had a mental illness. I became consumed with worry about her life and her future. I contemplated all the things I could do to fix her. I took her to doctors and counselors to help her deal with the symptoms that came from the mental illness. It seemed the more I tried to control, rescue, and fix her, the more she fought against my help. My worries turned me into a control freak! Can you believe it?!?!?!
After 3 years of coping this way, I found myself in a bad place. Worry turned into frustration, and my frustration and pain turned into anxiety, sadness, and anger. All my worrying and attempts to control her issues didn’t change a thing, and I was wearing out. I felt desperate and wanted to numb the pain.
But God led me to try Celebrate Recovery. I knew it was for hurts, habits, and hang-ups, and even though I had no clue how it would help me, I knew I had to do something different because everything else I tried failed. In CR, I found hope, inspiration, and support as I faced my unhealthy ways of coping with my daughter’s illness. I discovered I wasn’t alone with the pain I was in and the many ways I was messing up! I realized I wasn’t facing my pain God’s way as it says in Philippians 4:6-8.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything with prayer and petition and thanksgiving, make your requests known to God and the peace of God which transcends ALL understanding will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus.”
As I worked the Celebrate Recovery program and applied God’s word, I was able to work on my part of giving her over to God’s care and control. Slowly over time, I began to find peace amid chaos. I became less controlling and I stopped trying to fix and rescue her. And I allowed her to choose how to face and deal with her mental illness.
If you are struggling with someone in your life that is out of control and you are ready to change how you are dealing with it all, join us at Celebrate Recovery on Tuesday nights at 7 pm at The Harbor Church. You will discover you are not alone, and you will find that God has a plan and purpose for what you are going through. Hope to see you there!
Tonya Towner is the Co-Author of the Today Is My Favor Day Workbook and is currently the Director of Operations and Celebrate Recovery Coordinator at The Harbor Church. She is married to David and has three daughters and four grandsons.